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Friday, August 5, 2016

In the holidays

In writing we were learning to...
Write a recount about what I done in
the holidays.

In the holiday my Mum had  twins.  They were born on the 19th of July.  They are very cute, there names are Bison and Adeiy.  Every Day and night Mum has to go to the Hospital and feed the Baby’s. On Saturday I played  a rugby league game.  I play for a team called panther’s.  my team is on the top of the  leader board.  My Aunt came to watch my league game, when there was only  three minutes left.

What I need to work on.   I think I need to put some more punctuation in my work.   

10/10 I love writing.

I've been writing more and using more full stops and putting the full stops in the right place.


7 comments:

  1. I think my favourite part of this post is that you gave writing a 10/10! That is so cool. I can not wait to meet your new family members! Did you win the game? And if so, how many trys did you get?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I got five

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. Of course we did.

      Delete
  2. Hi Bryce it's me Hunter, I like that you have put your commas in the right place. I agree your next step is to put some more punctuation in your stories. What was the score?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know what the score.

      Delete
    2. I don't know what the score.

      Delete

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Positive - Something done well
Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say
Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or Ask a question you want to know more about

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